I have no right…

I remember the first time I died. Wow! What a statement. But I got your attention. I can see many times that if it weren’t for my guardian angel working overtime, I would not be here today. Several times, while driving, the situation should have, but didn’t, resulted in my death or possibly major injuty. One time, driving my dads 3/4 ton Chevy truck, nicknamed Big Red, in the rain, I was driving too fast approaching a signal when the car in front slammed to a stop in front of me. The tires on the truck really should have been replaced as they were…questionable. Anyway, I entered into a skid and turned into a spin that should have hit the car in front of me. Instead, I somehow came to a stop in the lane besides the car pointing perfectly forward and came to a stop right at the line as if nothing happened. I am just glad I did not need to change my shorts. Even recently, when driving at work and someone made a left hand turn into me causing my car to go from 55 mph to 0 in 1 second flat. The drivers side door was so mangled, even the state patrol officer was amazed that I was able to get the door open. The other vehicle was a large truck and the front bumper was only inches away from me. I should have been seriously injured or dead, but I only had a severely bruised chest, where the seatbelt caught me, and I still went to work the very next day.

When I was a kid, I went to visit my cousin that lived next to a major California freeway. We decided to take a shortcut to town and ran across a 4 lane freeway with all that oncoming traffic. How blessed were we for not causing and/ or being wiped out that night. From overdosing on my moms prescription pills as a child and having my stomach pumped, to falling out of a tree ( I was a climber) and ripping my leg open. I say again, I should not be alive, yet I feel God sent a guardian angel to protect me.

Recently, because of the Covid vaccine, my wife had a major negative reaction. Micro blood clots, congestive heart failure, lymphadema and several other side effects caused my wife to take an over the counter NSAID drug for pain. One morning, she told me she did not feel well. She could not make it to the car for me to take her to the hospital. The paramedic was called and they took her to the ER. The doctor flat told me, had we waited one more day, she would have been dead. She went into renal failure. Some call it prayer, I call it having a heart to heard conversation with God. And to be clear, I mean Jesus of Nazareth, the Son of God and part of the triun God, the God of the Holy Bible, that God. And I asked, begged and demanded his intervention in saving my wife. Here I am, two years later, her now fully disabled and inable to sue (she was forced to take the ‘clot shot’, and I am doing most of the cooking, cleaning and house maintenance and performing her bandage changing 2 to 3 times a week while still working a full time job. I have a better appreciation for what she did over the last nearly 40 years. What my mother, grand mother and aunt went through in their lives. And I feel guilty asking God for more when it is clear that all those people that were praying for us moved God to the point of granting me more time. I have no right to ask for more when I have received so much. At what point do you say, ‘Thank you God for giving me so much! I know I don’t deserve it. I appreciate what you have done and I don’t want to keep pushing the blessings that you have given me”?

I came so close to loosing the person that God himself made for me. The person that completed me, made me come out of my shell, gave me children which led to grandchildren and shared a life with me. So many people were what I call ‘prayer warriors’ and were praying just for us. Have you ever felt like you might be pushing your ‘luck’? Asking for too much? I want you to thank God for what you have, no matter how much or how little…just let him know you are thankful.

After receiving so much, I don’t feel I have the right to ask for more. My wife is doing much better, but it has been a long road and she is not fully recovered. She can no longer go upstairs where our bedroom is and can only sleep in a power recliner for over 2 years now. And she has worked full time since 16 years old and can’t work anymore, so trying to keep her mentally stimulated is a chore in itself, BUT SHE IS STILL HERE. She has to use a walker, but she is still here. Thank you God for the additional time. Please give me more. I don’t deserve it, but I also did not deserve to be saved, yet Jesus did that.