Have you ever had an aquarium? I did. I took the time to buy a nice 20 gallon show tank, put aquarium gravel in it, had a ceramic place to swim in and hide in, with special greenery placed around in a pleasant manner. Set up an under gravel filter system and an over flow filter. Set the pH just right and water heater to simulate the right environment for my fish before buying them. Then, choosing the right kind and number of fish to create a nice fish community. All that to sit in front of the tank and watch. Seeing the characteristics of each fish, naming them and just observing them. Sometimes, one fish might hide in the underwater castle or behind the pirate chest which would prompt me to get the net and try to coach it out so I could see it. I was interfering in its natural actions to please my own interests. When you see an aquarium, do you tap the glass?

The last 6 plus months have been stressful to my family. Long story short, my wife of almost 39 years got sick, when she has rarely been sick before. I did what I needed to to to take care of her, prayed to God, had many others praying for her and after 2 weeks in the hospital and 104 days in rehab facility, I got to bring her home. Less than 48 hours later, I was on the phone with emergency services. She somehow contracted cellulitis. The antibiotics to treat her infection is putting too much stress on her kidneys. I am back to begging God to help. 

I feel like God is looking at his aquarium, staring at my wife and myself tapping on the glass. I wonder when He is going to add medicine to the aquarium to heal my wife. 

Someone said I might be going thru a Job syndrom. I yelled at God saying ‘I am not Job, stop testing me. Stop taunting me. Stop tapping on the aquarium glass and add the medicine to heal my wife. 

I know I am speaking out of anger, fear, sadness and a lot of concern, but Gods shoulders are big enough for me to be angry. He is just gonna have to deal with it.